Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
