Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
