Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize