no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
