Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.