i think i have herpe
just one?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
