You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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