she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my being single is dangerous.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
