I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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