You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
