As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
