One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
