I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
