so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
