Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When are your genitals available?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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