Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
