what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
