We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
