great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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