I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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