I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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