Whod you bang
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
