In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
