if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
