My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
