if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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