its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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