What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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