Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
