it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
