i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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