i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
