biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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