And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize