new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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