My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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