How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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