i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
nutella sex= disaster
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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