i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
