the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
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Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
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I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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