I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
