I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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