Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
