U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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