I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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