Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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