cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
