I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
