Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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