Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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