So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
