he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
