moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My cat gives me a boner
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize