Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I still have a little drunk in my system
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
