Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize