what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
