i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
