I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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