But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
