ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
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i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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