all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
