there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
