We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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