just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
