fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
